C - “Now, I’m not 100% sure, but I think I killed a clown in my dream. Unless, you know, you hear anything on the news about a stabbed clown.”
R - “Clowns aren’t real man. You killed a child.”
C - “With really big feet and some kind of red nose deformity?”
R - “You killed Robin Williams.”
C - “Getting up and putting on slightly damp clothes on a winter morning is probably the 5th Circle of Hell.”
R - “Do they smell? That’s the 9th Commandment.”
C - “For God said on the 5th day: ‘If thou hast a heater in thine vehicular mode of transportation then thou shan’t suffer the indignity of questionable odours.”
R - “…”
C - “Too much?”
K - “You have a vagina. One of them. The optimum number.”
C - “A Mazda hatback beat a WRX in a drag. Now I’ve seen it all. Bring on death. I can’t live in a world where this has occured.”
M - “… Maybe the WRX wasn’t actually dragging?”
C - “Let’s just say I was in the car and very disappointed with the driver in question, who I’m not allowed to name as he has been shamed by this event.”
M - “Oh dear.”
R - “You’re fucked C-Dawg. It was a 2011 Mazda3 MPS and I didn’t realise he was dragging until I heard his turbo eating dicks left, right and centre.”
D - “Hey C-Dawg, can I get you to update a couple of things in the Leave Calculator you made for us?”
C - “Sure… Wait. You guys have renamed these files. Where’s the main file?”
D - “Oh, we called it ‘Better Copy - Updated Quota’.”
C - “I see… I just created a new file and I’ll let you know when I’m finished with the adjustments you want. It will be the file called ‘Leave Calculator v9 - AKA stop renaming my files asshats’.”
C - “Mmm, Jester’s Pies for lunch.”
L - “Ewww.”
C - “Go fuck yourself woman. Jester’s is amazing.”
L - “Not a fan, hey.”
C - “I’m not a fan of you anymore suddenly.”
This entry donated by L.
L - “I’ve come up with a plan for saving money.”
E - “Oh yeah?”
L - “I’m gonna spend $40 on different flavoured 2 minute noodles and live off them for a month. I would be able to save like $500. Winner.”
E - “Hahaha.”
L - “I will.”
E - “You’ll get so sick.”
L - “Nah man.”
E - “No nutrition.”
L - “I’ll just drink orange juice every now and then. You know. For vitamins.”
E - “Hahaha.”
L - “And I won’t get scurvy.”
C - “Man. It started raining and I got all excited but it’s stopped already so I’m sad.”
T - “You got excited because it was raining?”
C - “Yep! I love rain, and snow, and anything that falls out of the sky!”
T - “…”
C - “… Except planes.”
R - “Nice save on that. 100 steps ahead.”
C - “Always.”
R - “You know, if Egypt invaded and made us all slaves, and I was shackled in front of you, I would turn around and say ‘not this time’.”
C - “I don’t get it.”
R - “You said you’re always 100 steps ahead.”
C - “Oh. Right.”
R - “But I’m stepping in front of you. Pwned.”
C - “I’d tell them you were slacking off and they’d whip you. Then I’d giggle.”
R - “Bullshit. They would be like ‘DIBBER DOBBER’ and smash your face in with a rock.”
C - “No. They’d reward me… by putting me in a Pharoah’s tomb.”
R - “Hahaha. It would turn into that Mel Gibson movie.”
C - “The one where I resurrect 3 days later and ascend to heaven?”
R - “Uhhh… No. The one we’re you’re black.”
C - “Now I’m confused.”
R - “Man. What’s it called? Apocalypto.”
C - “Oh right. You said black guy and I thought Lethal Weapon.”
R - “That was on TV the other night.”
C - “Small coincidences.”
J - “B-Dawg, stop eating rice right next to me, I’m going to vommies.”
B - “Eat it! EAT IT!!!! I wanna see you YACK!”
J - “K-Dawg, B-Dawg is being mean to me. Sort her out Captain.”
B - “K-Dawg is too sick to care!”
S - “I wanna eat rice!”
J - “I just spewed in my mouth. Stop talking about rice.”
C - “It’s cool J-Dawg. Just turn to B-Dawg and describe to her how moist it is. Pretty soon you’ll both be sick.”
J - “Oh how I missed you guys.”
K - “All of you shut up and cook me some eggs.”
